Transcending the limits of space, time, and superficialities,

Here-lies within our love so true,

Till the day we finally come together as one,

I hope your heart will stay with me and mine with you.

Signing Off,

†Whiters™† 

I’m in love.

Am I?

When you seek love, it seldom turns up.

It catches you at the most unexpected moments, places, times - wherever or whenever you’re least hoping for anything.

But sometimes, it comes at a hefty price. Especially when you’re in love with someone who’s already with another.

You don’t wanna be the bad guy. But you’re already hooked.

You want it so bad. But you know that if its really love, you gotta let it go. Free.

Its never meant to be held down or tied to you. If it is, it’ll just snuff out.

I’m waiting patiently. But the feelings burn so intense within me. So intense that i can’t restrain it.

But still, i’ll wait. For you to make your move.

Because I’ve done all, whatever else that goes from now depends on you.

Don’t die out on me. Don’t make my heart wilt again. 

A friend of mine found this.

Amazing, isn’t it. How long lost things can be found? Even after such a long time.

So much has happened after the last time this blog was updated.

I’ve grown older. Matured? Lost some sort of hope in love?

Haha. I don’t know man. Life’s changed so much.

I’m serving National Service now, as 3SG Ivan Tee, PLC Detailing In-Charge. ORD: 23/04/2011.

Life’s a weird thing. You just can’t expect whats coming along. Things come along, surprise you, shock you.

I was reading through my old posts. I was a pretty love-smitten boy then huh? Maybe that explained why my ‘A’ level results were terrible.

Still, up till now, i’m quite love-oriented. Someone who goes along with his heart. Believes in love at first sight. But situations and circumstances just make my heart so weary - that i wished i couldn’t feel anymore. Its just so painful to love.

But then again, i know deep in my heart, that i’d rather die loving, than to die having not loved.

I’m in love. But nothing’s going to come out of it. Someone’s in love with me, but how am i to handle it? 

Teach me. Guide me. Shelter me.

Like how you’ve always done. 

I haven’t been blogging for AGES. Goodness. Well, partially because i’ve been too busy with lots of stuff and people. But i suppose the main reason is because i didn’t know what to blog about anymore.

Studies have definitely taken a big toll on my time - not that i’m so studious or what, but it causes me great stress. Considering that i have never been a very book-smart person, sitting down peacefully to "mug" is an extremely tough job for me.

Right now. The ‘A’ level examinations creep closer day by day. Everyday, i try to study as much as i can, with whatever stamina that i have, but it all seems so tough. As if having a heavy burden such as competing against all the rest of the "geniuses" and "smarties" in Singapore is not enough, people around me have to add on to the load that i have. I know that i have to be strong. To pull through this and shine in the examinations by some miracle. I can do it. Just take me through this.

Just during this period when i’m facing all these stress, some sort of internal conflict must happen within the group of people im together with. I’m definitely not a power-hungry person. In fact, i rather keep a low profile, and be unseen. But during that time, when nobody was willing to step up to serve, i took the challenge up. I didn’t know how tough it would be, but all i wanted to know, was that i’m here to serve Him. If nobody wants to do it, i will. You didn’t want to do it, so i took it up. So please, understand that i’m not some ass who just wants power and position. I want to treat all of you as friends, and somehow, get revelations to bring all of us up to a higher level. But give me some time. I’m just not as talented as you.

I don’t know what the future holds for me. Whether i’ll do well in ‘A’ levels or not. Whether i’ll become a true leader of men or not. Whether the road is going to get even tougher or not. But i know, that there is someone who is always there for me. Someone who will pick me up when i’m down. Someone who will protect me when others throw stones and abuses at me.

And thats enough for me. Because of You, i will walk this road. Not for the praises of men. But for your praises in the end.

Well… I was inspired during a series of 2 cell group meetings to write this song. I’ve got the tune in my head. Just got to figure out the chords out now. Hope it’ll be ready soon.

Evil vs Good

Carnality vs Spirituality

Sin vs Righteousness

Temporary vs Eternity

Death vs Life

Lust vs Love

Despair vs Hope

War vs Peace

Anger vs Joy

Sadness vs Happiness

Shame vs Glory

Routine vs Passion

Hell vs Heaven

Demons vs Angels

Failure vs Success

Poverty vs Prosperity

Sickness vs Health

Ignorance vs Knowledge

Foolishness vs Wisdom

Darkness vs Light

Cold vs Warmth

Enemies vs Friends

Condemned vs Saved

Satan vs God

Perhaps random. But which side do you choose? There isn’t a middle ground. Like a river that flows, so does these options. If you don’t choose, you drift to the left by default. I choose God.

Weeks and months have been going on and on since i last had the vision of setting up an institution from God during Emerge last year. So many things have happened. Be it disappointments or encouragements, i’ve really got a bit tired of some issues. As hard as i may try to be the best person that i can be, i still end up offending people and causing them to dislike me. Financially, it is almost impossible for me to dispense gifts as freely as some others; even if i wanted to. As a friend, i just can’t seem to be a good one to many others. In a computer game, i seem to even offend people just because i can’t fit into their style of playing.

3 weeks of the june holidays have passed and yet, i haven’t started on any revision. Seriously, i don’t know how i am going to score well for my ‘A’ levels. I don’t want to end up with a screwed up life where i don’t know what to do and where to go. Perhaps i should just segregate myself and stick to mugging all the way. However, it isn’t just that easy to do so. I’ve got church commitments, friends, family. These are just impossible to break away from. But for someone like me, i just find it so hard to balance out both sides such that i do well in both aspects.

Sigh. I’m such a useless person.

But anyway, yesterday was Steve’s birthday. Henry and I, together with Baldovin, went to Jurong side church for service. Well, service was excellent. But i shan’t elaborate on it. It ended at 5.30pm and we went to Jurong East MRT to meet Steve. After that, we went arcade and met Dhaslie, David and Shude there. Then dinner at Swensens. I kind of made a stupid joke of myself when i tried to joke about "Prince Lesbian" (Prince Caspian) while the waiter was there. =/ But anyway, the meal portions were horribly small. But, we had a hell lot of a laugh because David was telling us jokes all the way.

After that, we went to arcade again and the typical routine repeated itself. DDR, KOF, DDR, DDR, KOF. So when they finally finished playing at the arcade, we went over to David’s office where we cut cake and everything… Blah blah… Here are the picture… (Courtesy of Dhaslie)

Well Bal and I left at 11.45pm. To catch the last train. Met Kelvin at city hall and he stayed over at my house. Lazy bum lol. But anyway, going to catch the Incredible Hulk later. See ya guys! Happy last week of holidays!

†Whiters™† signing off

Haha… I was just bored and playing around some personality tests with Kelvin… So here are the results! Its only for fun =/ Don’t be offended. Whoever might be. Lol. Cuz its ridiculous to be so.

You Are 77% Creative

You are beyond creative. You are a true artist - even if it’s not in the conventional sense of the word. You love creating for its own sake, and you find yourself quite inspired at times.

Your Personality at 35,000 Says…

Deep down, you prefer spending time alone to spending time with others. You enjoy thinking more than talking. You are good with your place in the world. You are confident and comfortable with who you are. Your gift is having a good eye. You take amazing picture and have the natural talent for most visual arts. You are inspired by challenges. If something is hard to accomplish, you want to do it. It’s very easy for you to feel happy. You can find peace with any situation.

You Are Very Sexy

Damn! You are one hot number. You have a lot of sex appeal. You know you’re sexy, and you’re not afraid to put it all out there. And while you’re very appealing, you’re careful not to be trashy or over the top. Sexy is all about attitude. And you totally have the attitude that people love. How You Are Sexy You feel gorgeous, and you always try to look your best. You make the best of what you’ve got. Totally sexy! You keep your body fit and healthy, and that’s hot. Plus, sweating is also sexy! You wear sexy underwear, and that’s definitely hot. Feeling sexy is important to being sexy, even if no one knows what’s underneath your clothes. You are friendly and outgoing, even to people who don’t deserve it. Your positive body language makes you even sexier.

You Are a Good Friend Because You’re Honest

Like it or not, your friends are going to hear the truth from you. You know that the truth hurts, but living a life of lies is much worse. So while you’re definitely kind and supportive, you don’t pull any punches with your friends. Everyone knows where they stand with you. And what you like and dislike about them. While some may be initially turned off by your honesty, your friends have come to consider it a virtue. After all, in world of white lies and deceptive politeness, you can be counted on for honesty and integrity. Your friends need you most when: They need good advice or an intelligent opinion You really can’t be friends with: Needy, emotional people Your friendship quote: "True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance."

Your Kissing Grade: A-

You are truly an amazing kisser. Your kisses are extraordinarily mind blowing. Whether you’re naturally a good kisser or not, you’ve taken the time learn how to be the best kisser possible. Anyone would be lucky to get a kiss from you!

You Are a Soft Kisser

Your kissing style is understated, but effective You give soft, sweet, and soulful kisses. And the key is, you only give kisses to someone incredibly special Because you don’t just go around kissing anyone

Maybe its a little stupid for some people.. But just having fun with my friend playing with these tests.. ^^

Good day to all… ^^

Comments (0)